January 2002
'I met an old friend today that I haven't seen in a while.
I had gone to the market to buy things for the week so I was carrying so many bags all at once and was still trying to get an okada to take me home.
The loud horn that came from a moving car made me jump on my tracks with my bags
'Who horns that loudly and persistently' I thought angrily still struggling with my bags in both hands.
I walked further and tried to flag down another okada but the driver of the car packed in front of me and stopped.
I was in no mood to speak to any man or anybody for that matter. My destination was home and the shower because the 1pm sun was not friendly one bit.
'Hello excuse me' whoever it was said.
'Excuse yourself' I said within me still fuming with anger as I was unable to get any one to relief me of my load.
I was tired
'Hello Ada!' The caller called out again
Her voice sounded familiar. Only one person she knew had that kind of high pitched soprano voice. And that would be Amaka in her class back then in University, but what was she doing here' Ada wondered.
'Hello Ada its Amaka!'
I couldn't believe my ears or my eyes. Amaka, my study group partner in school?' Wow
I dropped my bags down and called out her name.
'Amaka! Wow so good to see you.
She attempted to hug me as we normally do, but I shielded myself from it. I was too sweaty from the hot sun to accept her hug.
She was looking really good and I envied her.
'Please let me help you with your bags and drop you home' she offered.
I stay in GRA oh' I said in the hope that I would dismiss her.
She wasn't moved.
'No problem I'll drop you home.
Though I stayed in the GRA of Enugu state, I wasn't exactly proud of the one room apartment I was living in so I didn't want her coming to visit.
Why my one room apartment suddenly became a problem, I couldn't fathom. It never bothered me up until that moment.
Was I secretly comparing myself with Amaka or was I getting envious. I needed to check those negative emotions subtly creeping into my head before they get the better part of me.
I got into her car and I was welcomed by the cool air coming out form the car's air condition.
For a brief moment, I wished I was her! I wish we swap places so I could have her life. I snapped out of that moment and soon enough she we started our usual chatter good enough to distract me from myself.
Our conversation drifted from old time friends back in school to our life now to our marriages and our future.
She dropped me off at my gate and we exchanged contacts in the hope of future communications.
I wasn't sure I was going to continue the friendship because I left her that day having mixed feelings.
When Uche came home from work, I was in no mood for a conversation. I was angry at life and was getting angry at him too unknown to him.
He had not seen me like this in a while. The last time this happened was when I lost a childhood friend some months ago.
This was not the Ada he knew. Something was definitely wrong and he didn't know how to ask me what it was
'What's the matter Ada' he asked obviously perplexed with my unusual silence.
'Nothing' I replied 'How was work today?' I manage to say hoping to take his attention away from me.
He didn't know what to do.
He tried to touch me, but I was irritated at his touch and the mere sight of him.
I knew I needed to snap out of that mood,but I felt helpless. The more I tried, the more I went down below.
'Was Amaka right?' I kept on pondering and turning the conversation we had over and over again in my head.
'What was I to do?' I felt so confused.
Uche tried so hard to get me to talk or at least be lively.
He tickled me. he made a cup of tea for me and even attempted to go outside and buy me my favorite snack. But I wasn't in the mood for any of those so I politely refused and told him I needed to be left alone.
He obliged and left me to my self$
I needed answers. I really admired Amaka's life so maybe I was just plain envious of where she was.
She offered some suggestions that looked valid, but I didn't know if to act on it because it worked for her.
I needed to talk with someone desperately before I act and regret that I did.
Exerting myself in something else always helps me to blow off steam and so I got up to do that.
My library had been in disarray for a while now, it needed to be put in order I got to work doing that.
The whole place was in a mess, my bad mood didn't make it look any better. I went to work putting things in their rightful places.
After about 30 minutes into my self induced task I saw a small magazine lying careless on the floor. I picked it up to find out if it was worth saving or throwing away.
It turned out to be the former.
The magazine was titled 'Couples issues and answer.
I put my cleaning towel aside and sat on a chair in the library as I flipped through the pages of the magazine.
I couldn't believe my luck as the first thing the author said was a story about a time in her Marriage life when she was angry at her husband and was secretly hating her marriage. She has been married for thirty years as at the time the magazine was written to the same man so I knew she had something to say.
I continued reading it. This really was going to be my answer afterall.
The author continued saying that she had to pause and ask her self what the root cause of her predicament was that made her feel that way.
And she discovered it was birthed out of envy. Seeing her 'mates' doing better than her and looking so successful while she was seemingly stock in one place.
Those words were like a light bulb to the state of my heart.
She was right! I was envious of Amaka and wanted to have what she had. This inturn made me feel like the things I had were not good enough.
I continued reading the author's story and she concluded by saying that no matter how much we envied other people's life, we could never be them.
We were all called to achieve separate things and the key to finding fulfillment did not lie in being somebody else or having what they possessed but finding your purpose and fulfilling it.
That was my answer!
Amaka had suggested that I put pressure on my husband to get me plenty fine things of life.
And that if I did that, he would look for ways to work harder and get me those things. That was what she claimed she did and her husband had no choice but to use whatever means he could to provide for her.
She didn't even know the source of all his income all she knew was she asked for things and her man gave it to her.
I wasn't Amaka! I had her own life so she wasn't going to do what she did. I had her answer now!
I knew what i would do.
First was to take Amaka's contact off her phone! She was obviously a going to be a bad influence in her life if she continued to keep her as a friend.
I continued reading the magazine and some other contributors said the marriage union was meant to have a united front and nothing or no one should be able to break that unity.
I had allowed my little episode to come between me and my Uche.
I needed to make amends. I needed to come out clean and let him know what transpired earlier on.
I needed to apologize.
Uche had already retired to the bedroom and was reading a novel.
I got down to my birthday suit and slid under the sheets with him.
I told him all that happened and the reason for my sad attitude earlier on!
We made up after that and I was determined that nothing was going to come in between us ever again. I didn't need to have what Amaka had to know that I was blessed beyond measure to be married to my very handsome Uche!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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