A couple of you may probably have read the story already.
For those who haven't, this is a story about our marriage journey so far as a couple. it details our struggles and joys.
Hope you enjoy it and most importantly, we hope it inspires you.
So... Here it is
He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord". That was it! The promise that emboldened me, that intoxicated me with optimism and stirred up hope and drive in me.
Six months earlier, I told myself that I would have nothing to do with any woman until after five years due to break-ups I had in my past two relationships. The experience made me feel that I was not good enough for any woman, no matter how cute and kind they professed I was, they just left because I was not a 'hard man', I didn't have a good job and of course, I was broke!
As a graduate of the department of Fine and Applied Arts, *** University, I took up two part time jobs to teach fine art in two private schools so as to enable me have time to do my personal works on art. The very first day I stepped into the church auditorium where I now worship with saints, I saw the beautiful girl who eventually became my wife and I knew by inward witness that she would be my partner for life. I knew I should get married despite not having everything I needed yet, but I was certain that I would eventually be successful because I genuinely love and trust God and I have the talent, abilities and relevant information to be successful. When I started dating my wife, there was a strong conviction that I was not just attracted to her at first sight. Our meeting was a divine arrangement.
This is her part of the story…
Two weeks before I met my husband, God had told me that he would send someone my way and that person will eventually help me achieve the work He had ordained me to do. I was glad, I became circumspect and on the look out so I wouldn't miss him when he comes. I was expecting to see an "already made, tongue-talking, jeep riding, duplex owner" guy (funny how the mind works…I'm sure God must have laughed at me plenty times), but instead I saw a tall, handsome, slim, face cap wearing, book loving guy (who would eventually become my husband), walked into my office and said he wanted to buy a book (I was working in a bookshop at that time). Unknown to me, he had seen me in church singing and playing my guitar.
Eventually, we got talking and he promised to come back the next day to buy another book that was not available in the office. He came the next day and the day after that. And our friendship grew.
I noticed that while we talked, we could connect and flow in our conversation on virtually all subjects of discussion. Despite the rapport, I kept my distance because I wanted to be sure this was the "Him" I was to expect. I didn't want my emotions to cloud God's voice and my reason.
I still wanted to be double sure even when I discovered he was the one. So I took him to my mentors and some trusted friends and for the first time, they gave someone I 'liked' a pass mark. And then we got married…
One would think that because we had God's approval, our lives should suddenly become blissful, but that's not what happened. We were living in a one-room apartment when we got married with nothing much and we stayed there for some months until we eventually moved to a two bedroom apartment in that same compound. The landlord suggested we move into the apartment after the tenant there left the compound. As time went by, my husband's job was not constant as before. He quit the part-time teaching jobs he was doing in order to have more time to do his art works and painting of buildings. Money was not coming in as before and things got so difficult to the extent that we could hardly feed and being a young lawyer, I was earning stipend as salary (My boss actually told me it was transport allowance, not salary). It was during our scarcity experience our son was born. Although he's a gift from God, we often wondered how we were going to keep him alive when we could hardly feed ourselves.
Back to my husband's narration of our experience…
I sat down on the floor one day with tear-soaked eyes, and mind filled with accusation. I was angry with God for asking me to stop working at those schools. Yes! I mean it, I will not lie at God because I know how he speaks to me. I've had conversations with Him and seen the result of things He told me about. I was very, very sure He told me to stop working in those schools and focus on my art work solely. It didn't make sense to me. Stop work? How would I survive with a pregnant wife? How would I pay my bills and feed my family?
"I will take care of you" was the answer I heard.
"What do you prefer? To make money, or to fulfill purpose?"
"But God", I whimpered, "how will I survive? I need the money to fulfill purpose".
"If you follow me, money will follow you". Was the response I got. I felt foolish, lazy, impractical and irresponsible. Who would understand? Nobody understood. My pastor asked me, "how can God who created man and put him in the garden to work, tell you to stop work?" I couldn't answer him but I went back to God and asked him the very question my pastor asked me, and He said "Adam did not work for any man" God put Adam there to work, care for and supervise the place from which he would be fed. Adam was like an entrepreneur. None of all these even made sense to me, but I had to give it a try reluctantly. When I told my Mum, she said "Even if you want to become full-time minister, work for one or two years, or establish a business first". My wife said if I heard God, I should go ahead. I got her support. I made the hard decision because I was sure God spoke, it was bitter in my mouth and painful to my flesh. Sometimes in life, God doesn't make sense and I think He loves and enjoys not making sense so that we would know how "Godful" He is and learn to fully trust in him and not lean on our own understanding, talent, abilities, experiences, skills, certificate and education. I got jobs to paint some client's houses. Money came from the jobs and I was able to pay my bills for some time. Other Clients did not pay and jobs were not coming again.
About eight months after our son was born, things started to get worse. We were unable to pay our house rent. Our landlord was upset and asked us to evacuate the apartment as we couldn't pay for four months. We pleaded and asked for time to enable us put things in order but all our efforts were to no avail. I was confused because I couldn't understand how God would give an instruction and a promise and back off. I began to think it had nothing to do with God. "Maybe it was my mind" I said to my self.
The money some clients were owing me would have been enough to pay up my rent and I would have had enough to spare, but they just didn't pay.
My wife has these to say:
I was tempted to feel angry at God and my husband. I was tempted to transfer the pain I felt to him, I was tempted to think maybe marrying him was a mistake, but I tried with God's help not to let those thoughts stay. We didn't know where to go or what to do. We knew we had to move but to even pay for a truck to move our property was tough. I made up my mind that even if we literally moved to the uncompleted building close to us, I would not give in and start complaining.
Being a breastfeeding mother too made it worse as the little food I would eat, our son would suck me dry (you know how that can be). Depression was always knocking at my door wanting to come in, but when I'm alone at the house, I would back my son on my back and sing and sing praises to God and worship. If I was going to die in the situation, I would rather I die in faith than out of it. The temptation most times is to forget all that God had done for you in time past and just think of only what you're going through now but worshiping God in the midst of the pain helps you shift focus from you to God.
To cut it all short, we moved to a wonderful couple's house in church who had earlier invited to spend the weekend at their place but were unaware of our house issue. We got there and explained our situation to them. They agreed to let us stay till we got our own place.
One Sunday afternoon, after about three weeks of living with them, we saw several missed calls on our phone from some people in church. A brother had been looking for us and he didn't know where we were staying anymore, hence he called several people until he got our current location. He came to beg us to move into the vacant apartment in his compound. He told us that three months prior to this time, God had told him to give us the place but he was hesitant thinking that if we had issues with our house we would let him know. But that Sunday he just couldn't rest until he saw us. We told him that we may not be able to pay right now as we haven't gathered enough resources and he told us that he wasn't interested in money, he was interested in his obeying God and getting his peace back. WOW!!!
We couldn't believe it! Just like that…
And that was how we moved in to the place some days later. Though it's a one bedroom apartment but it's a sure sign that God has got our back. That's where we are now, it may be small, but it's our days of little beginnings and we have forever to go. And I know that with God on our side, we would scale through mountains and come out as champions.
We have discovered through this experience that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord. God is the great architect, the master strategist and perfect helper. We do not have everything we need yet, but we appreciate God each day for helping us trust him more, having faith and confidence in Him like never before. Through this experience, we have been able to discover our writing skills, I now have a blog and I do things that gives me fulfillment. My husband on the other hand, learnt how to produce paint and we are both writing our books. We have grown In love, patience and faith than when we first married because our focus is on God's word, not on food, clothes, or shelter(which on their own are good and necessary) we don't pursue shadows any more, we desire, seek and pursue the divine and eternal maker.
That's our story!!! Hope it inspires someone.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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