Ballerina continues

"Efe please put some clothes on."

"What's your own sef? Am I seducing you?"

"Ah! Please, with this bony structure?" Edith teased.

She spread her arm at Efe from her shoulder down to her toes repeatedly.

"Jealousy." Efe shouted back at her. "Because you are finding it hard to become a model like me that's why you can't stand seeing me in my birthday suit isn't it?"

"Which kind yeye model?" Edith yelled back scornfully.
"Abeg go wear cloth."

"Look who's talking, are you putting on clothes?" Efe inquired.
"At least I am better than you."

"Wow! Efe exclaimed in astonishment.

"So brassiere and pants are better,really?"

"Would you prefer a guy to see you the way you are or the way I am"

"To see me like this?" Efe shouted in whispers. She used her left arm to cover her breasts and tried to cover her pubic region with her right palm.

"That means my bride price would be reduced to the price of pure water."

"But Efe,its not your fault that you are not putting on clothes sha. The weather is terribly infuriated for God know why. And the people that are holding power are not making matters easier."

"My sister,I wish there was a swimming pool around,I would not have cared about electricity supply." Efe lamented.

"Do you think you are in your fathers house?"

" Edith,I wish I was at home."

"Don't worry,we will soon be through with exams. And by this time next year, we will be preparing to leave this school for good." Edith consoled her.

"Hello?" a voice at the other side of the door called.

"Yes,who is it? Efe responded.

"Okon."
At the mention of Okon, the two girls were thrown into disarray. Edith found herself behind the kitchen door while Efe kept shouting "wait" in the bathroom as her towel kept falling from her chest.

"Okon wait, wait o, wait."

"I hear you, sister. I hear."

"Edith, please go and help me ask him what he wants."

"Are you out of your mind? Do you want him to see me like this?"

"But you said you were better than me, now."

"Efe, you are not serious o. You better go and open for the poor boy,you're keeping him waiting."

"Okon, Okon, Okon, Efe called out from the bathroom but there was no response.

"Edith come and open the door for me. I'm back."

"Beatrice?"

"Yes."

"Is Okon with you?"

"No, he has gone. I asked him to help me bring a bag upstairs, it was too heavy for me to climb up with.

Edith opened the door and wiped the sweat on her forehead with the back of her left palm.

"What's the matter with you? Why are you sweating and breathing like someone that just had a terrorist attack?" Beatrice asked Edith but she didn't get a reply.
She went into the kitchen, dropped a bag of sachet water that she held in her left hand and in her right hand was a sack of food items which she gently rested on a short kitchen shelf.

"Edith held her head with two hands and shouted, "so I would have exchanged my bride prize for a bag of pure water."
Efe couldn't help but fell on the ground, laughing so hard until tears started rolling down her cheeks.
Beatrice walked back into the living room, pulled out a plastic chair from under a brown wooden table and sat on it with a grim countenance. The transmogrification on Efe's face pushed Beatrice's head away from Efe's location to avoid her stare.

"Beatrice, what is it?" Efe asked.
Beatrice said nothing. She sat like an idol with red juicy eyeballs.

"B, relax." Efe tried to calm her down. She knew Beatrice takes that position whenever there is anger, pain, frustration, regret and hatred in her.
"What did he do?"

"Bu hu huuuu!!!"

"Who is crying?" Edith asked, running out of the room in surprise.
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The Wise Virgins

What differentiated the foolish virgins from the wise one in the parable that Jesus gave was the 'EXTRA' oil that the wise had and the foolish didn't have.

It seems that the wise ones knew there would be delay, so they planned ahead. They prepared themselves for any eventuality. They had a 'back up' plan.

Every person that accepts Jesus is considered a 'Virgin' awaiting The Groom's (Jesus) return. Doesn't matter what the past has been for you, or what you have done before,if you are now in Christ,you are a new creation. You now become his 'virgin bride' awaiting his return.

But from his story,not every new creation,tongue talking virgin bride would make it for his return. Those that would make it are those that have the EXTRA Oil in their lamps.

What does the extra oil mean then?
It certainly does not mean the Holy Spirit. Because if that were true,it would suggest that the Holy Spirit was not meant for every virgin bride of the Lord. The extra would mean something else then.

The extra is our own personal walk with God. The time we take out to study,to pray. The time we take to know him for ourselves and check our lives to see if we are living by his standards.

It will mean our walk with the Lord beyond the born again experience of making us his 'Virgin Bride' to walking with him and building a life with him.

Most of us just stop at been his bride but we don't make any effort to get extra with him. We spend most of our times with the world,browsing,friends e.t.c and we don't spend time to get the extra word,extra time,extra fellowship with the Lord.

One of the advice that a lot of us give to soon to be married couples is that they actually be first friends before 'lovers'. We tell them to get to know themselves,and what they like and do not like before they say I do.
That's a great advice.
And if that advice is anything to go by,it would mean we as Jesus' bride,preparing to spend our eternity with him must get to know him here first. Spend time with his letters,get to know the things he likes, get to find out his dislikes and check where you need to adjust.

Jesus 'proposed' to us and we accepted,so we have to spend time to find out about him,because he would eventually accept only those that he knows,those that have fellowshiped with him beyond the born again experience or should I say the 'accepting proposal' experience.
He said he will tell some people on the wedding day that he 'never knew them'(Mathew 7vs25). Wow!!!

Does that mean they didn't "accept his proposal" ? Oh yeah! They did. But he would say he never knew them because they didn't spend time to know him. He actually says that such people are workers of iniquity. So they accepted, but didn't get to know him.
They accepted him,but continued living without having his word as his standard. They served him the way they wanted,not the way He wanted to be served. They accepted his proposal but continued doing what they wanted not making him Lord of their lives.

Get to know him today, spend your time reading his letters and arranging yourself well. Spend your time getting the EXTRA oil, because in the end, that's what would make the difference.

Shalom
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No strings attached 2

He was ashamed of me for the most part,especially when his friends or cousins were around.
I wouldn't blame him too because I mean,I didn't 'look' good compared to the kind of girls he was exposed to.
Didn't dress well,didn't really have nice clothes so I didn't really look 'chicky'.
He was a bad habit and I struggled to let him go because I knew he had to go.
I gave my life to the Lord in that state and one of the things I had to do was to let go of him.
I remember crying to God severally that I just couldn't do it, I was too attached emotionally. I even told God that I wouldn't be a christian again if he insisted I let go. Thank God he didn't answer that request.

I know you would be saying well the guy didn't need you just let him go.

My answer: I know he didn't me,I know he treated me like trash but when you are damaged emotionally like I was,you pretty much settle for anything. Even if it meant eating from a trash can.

I did let him go eventually and tried to build a life with me and God.
I met a couple of other good friends who helped me become better. But I still had a lot to learn.

I still made wrong choices emotionally with guys. From falling for the 'bad handsome' guy to falling for 'good dirty' guy. I fell for almost all types.

I didn't understand the kind of love that God can give,I didn't know that his love could make me completely whole,inside and outside. But eventually,the healing started. I had to ask God to help me since I always made poor choices for myself and ended up getting hurt over and over again. And he brought a lot of people my way to help me with the healing process.

Fast-forward to today:
I'm happily married to a great man who happily plays the role of a father, (since I pretty much didn't know how a father can love) a friend, my 'girl friend', and a husband.
God used him to complete what he started in my life. He said he prayed to have some one as a wife who he would help become better. What other way to have his prayers answered than giving me to him. Lolzzz
At a stage I almost forgot that God was still the only one that I needed completely,I almost suffocated him with my emotional ish, but thanks to God that he helped me look to God to get my complete freedom and the strength to be the woman I am today.

Why am I sharing my past with you?

I don't care the wrong choices you have made over and over again or how messed up your life has been. Or how deep in pot hole you are.

But one thing I'm certain about is God can give you a fresh start as he did for me. God can make your life beautiful and fulfilling as he did mine.

But you've got to let him. Don't let your past hold you back,don't let your shame hold you shame.
Allow him to give you the peace that you're looking for and allow him make you whole and dependent on no one else,but him.

Shallom
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The Call

"Our call from God was established before we were born. As we grow in life,we are invited to become aware of it..."
That's a quote from a book I'm reading called God's generals and it is so in line with Eph.2vs10. That says "we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do the work that he has ordained for us before the foundation of the world"

Stay with me...

David wrote more than 80% of the psalms in the bible and most of what he wrote were more than mere songs. Most of them were prophecies of future events,things that would happen to the coming Messiah or things that would happen even in the end times. But I'm not sure David knew about this,he just wrote as he was inspired to write from his spirit.

There's one psalm in particular that sent me down this path. Psalm 69vs9. He said about himself of how he was hated because the zeal of his father's house consumed him. Though he was inspired to write that for him but he was speaking about the Messiah because if you go to the book of John,when Jesus drove out those that sold in the temple,the disciples remembered that scripture as a pointer to him.

This my point. Every single person on this planet,I mean everyone was created to fulfil something. Something as crazy as just writing songs, to something as grand as been a "messiah" for a cause.
It is only in finding that out and living it out that true fulfilment comes. This is so because before the world began God had a plan.

Well you may be thinking "what about those that aint Christians,what would you say about them"
Answer: same thing. Why?, because God sooooo loved the world, and that includes them.

Find out what yours is and live it out to the maximum.
Not everybody would believe in you, trust me on that one. Even Jesus,not everybody believed his calling. Even in that same book of John,the "Ogas" of the Temple said "eh,if you say you are what you are,give a proof jare,stop making noise upandan". They were supposed to be the "eyes"and "ears" of God but they didn't know who the Messiah was.

So it's ok not to be believed in. But what does God believe and what do you believe.
Answer that and you are sure going to be on your way to living a fulfilled life.

Have a blessed day. Shalom.
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No Strings Attached

I was a needy when I was a child and most of that was caused by the lack of love and attention I didn't get from my parents.
You know how it is growing up in a home where the parents didn't love themselves, where at best they regret getting married to each other, but since they were stuck with themselves,they just had to keep on going. That's how it felt.

My 'neediness' translated into my wanting affection from anything or anyone.

I didn't stay long with my parents,I was taken to live else where. That place was worse. We were constantly told and made to feel that we were a burden to them and they just hated caring for us at least because my parents never really sent them money to take care of us. It was tough and painful.

I was almost raped twice by my Uncle's friends but was lucky to escape.
My Uncle was mentally unstable so sometimes he would take it out on me and tried to force me to give him a blow job.
There was no use reporting because the only time I did,I ended up being punished for it.

I lived in fear,constant fear of the unknown. If my Uncle said he was travelling,I would be so happy to be free from him but when it was time to return,I would become sad. Because of his mental state, he would sometimes beat me to a point I would bleed but I couldn't escape,people were scared to step in to stop him else he would turn his anger to them. You could just be busy with your chores at home and receive a very hot slap. You dare not ask why.
Some of his reason were; why did you look at me like that?, why are you talking that way? Or why are you walking that way? Or why are you sitting down when I'm around?.
No jokes,I'm not exaggerating. It was that bad.
We could be sleeping in the middle of the night and he would wake us up and tell us to go to the sitting room.
Open our legs, open our hands and mouth and just watch us with a knife in his hands or anything he could find. He would give us this look like we were witches and he was about to kill us or something. He would just keep walking back and forth before us, then he would start laughing and tell us to hold still without blinking. It was scary,those nights. It was really scary.

There was a time we reported to some older people in church in tears about our condition, so they followed us to the house to speak with him,he chased them away with a cutlass in his hands. They ran and forgot why they came and they almost left us behind, but made an arrangement to put us somewhere until he got back to 'normal'. I wished we didn't go back,because it became worse.

This treatment made me feel needy a lot of times. I desperately needed love and affection and I was bent on getting it anywhere.

Then I met a boy. Handsome and tall and I fell hard for him before the word Go. We weren't actually 'dating', we were just seeing ourselves and our houses weren't so far from each other so we could see a lot.
I don't know if he was into me as much but I was sooooo into him. I allowed him do some nasty things to me just to hear him say he liked me. Anything would do but not going home unhappy.
I would visit him regularly and just wanted him to hold me and make me feel 'loved' and 'needed'.
It went on for a while,until I found out that he actually had his girl and since I practically poured myself on him, he didn't attach any importance whatsoever to me.
That wasn't his fault though because what I needed,he just couldn't give.
It was not his place to give me what I was looking for.

So...

To be continued...
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What do you see?...

My Boss recently had a meeting with a government agency and she insisted that I joined her.
Well with the kind of heat coming from the sun that can sufficiently roast yam,I was more than thrilled with the idea to join her at least I get to enjoy the car's air condition for 45minutes or there about.
We had asked for directions to get to the place from some people so we set out to get to the destination. On our way, she noticed that the car developed a little problem and she was disturbed. After complaining about Nigerian mechanics who 'fix' your cars and spoil another thing inside we continued our journey but in a wrong direction.
Why?
Her mind was so fixed on getting over and done with the meeting then getting home and dumping the car that she didn't know that she was actually driving herself home thinking she was still on her way to the meeting.
Her mind and body moved in the directions of her predominate thoughts. She soon began to laugh. I wondered why because to me we were still on our way to the meeting and I was busy looking for the sign board of the place.
So she said that she had moved in opposite direction and explained that her mind was so intent on going home and she didn't even realise she was actually going home rather than the planned meeting.
She apologised and we reversed the car and continued our journey(well the AC was still on so apology accepted even if we go in circles...the sun wasn't a better option lolzz)
Why am I saying this?
We unconsciously move in the direction of what we see in our minds eye.
Our eyes are given for us to see but our minds eye even have greater power. It has the ability to create and the ability to destroy. It has the ability to change the course of our lives or make us stuck were we are forever.

A pastor preached in church on day that he way driving and he had to stop for the traffic light. while he was there he remembered his friend and thought to himself that if he was going to his visit his friend today, he would have just taken the straight road after the lights turned green but he was actually going somewhere else which would mean making a right turn.
But his thoughts were still on his friend,and when the lights went green,sure enough he went straight and the realised he was supposed to turn right turn not take straight. He realised his mistake and had to go round to continue his journey.

What's in front of your eyes may be challenges,pain, hurt, betrayal and all but what you see with your mind's eyes makes all the difference.

The light bulb maker Albert Einstein failed for about a 100 times but he still saw the possibility of making the light bulb. I would have given up trust me,I mean 100 times? A lot of people would even help us explain the situation
"Maybe its not for" they'll say or

"God has forgotten" another would say and trust the Devil,he is so good with the ministry of interpretation.
He will start saying things like
"If God loves you why did he not give you money for your fees"
Or
If God loves like you say he does why did he not help you pay your rent" and so on.
But God loved Jesus and yet he "Killed" him. The devil said at last we won but he had no idea that God was using his beautiful head to carry out his plan but devil didn't figure that out just like he pretty much can't figure ours too.

So my question today is what do you see? I chose to see what God sees,I chose to see light and I chose to see victory and since its my choice to make I chose life.

How about you? What do you see?...

Don't let what your natural eyes see get in the way of what your mind's eye can see, because its what your mind's eye see that get's you to your destination.

Shalom.
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My Birth.

You know I have always wished to be born elsewhere say America or probably Britain.
You know why? At least I would have a better place to use my talents and gifts for much rewards. I mean if I was a fashion designer for example,I would not struggle too much to get started. I heard of a 9 year who started a lemonade making industry with great support and encouragement from her parents. They encouraged her to do research on some things and Viola!!! The company was born.
There's an opportunity to grow in those climates and become useful.

I have always wished maybe I had different parents or should I say wealthier parents,and please don't get me wrong I love my parents and I'm glad I have them. But sometimes I wished I had parents who understood how to raise a child to follow their inbuilt passions.
Or better still I had wanted the circumstances of my birth to have been better. You know that scenario with a happy waiting father expecting his child to be born soon and was ready to celebrate when mother and child comes out safely from delivery room.

But No!!! None of that. But instead what I got was a father who was told "Na girl your wife born again" and he just took that moment to leave us in the hospital to probably die (still don't know why he did it) because he badly needed a male child . But he left us there until later. I was even told he went out to have fun with himself and his friends and forget his baby girl and mother at the hospital.

And you know this had made me wish I had better and other things. But I didn't and still don't have all yet.

But something strikes me about God and the birth of his Son in the book of Luke chapter 2,it talks about the birth of Jesus. Mary and Joseph had to go to another place because of the ongoing census, and that was the perfect time for sister Mary to go into labour. The shocking thing was there was no space to even put him so it had to be in the most unlikely place: in a Manger and that's a fancy word for where horses and other animals eat, poop and wee.

One would have thought with all the hype about a Messiah coming and a king being born that there would have probably been a grand reception for the child. But God allowed him to be born in a manger. Such Irony!!!!

Now here is my point:
It doesn't really matter the circumstances that surrounds your birth or how you were treated but what matters is who you are.
The fact Jesus that was born in a manger didn't mean he was less than the Messiah. The fact that you were born in a terrible way or the usual 'born by mistake' phrase doesn't mean you can't achieve greatness if you put your mind to it.

My advice:
Quit holding on to what could have or should have or would have been and find the purpose for your life and live it.
Live it to the fullest.
Just like God allowed Jesus to be born in a manger, he probably allowed yours too. And he did that to his Son Jesus to let us know that:

Where you came from doesn't matter as much as who he has made you to be and who you can become.

Put all your energy into finding purpose and fulfilling it.

Peace!!!
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Secured in your Identity

I met a man recently and he wanted to register his business name.
He was asked what he did for a living and his answer was a shocker.
He said he was a cook.
A cook? So we thought maybe he didn't get the question quite correctly so we put it differently and asked him what's his occupation was? His next answer was worse than the first.
He said he was a nursing father.
I gave up!!!

He was so proud of what he did that you could literally see his excitement...
Yeah I'm sure you would ask what about his wife.
Well I wondered too and he said his wife is in school just in case you are wondering if she's a young woman,she's not. She was in school doing her PhD programme.

Wow!!!
I was too shocked to ask the other details. He allowed his wife to continue doing what she wanted while he did what he loved which was cooking.

Well that could work if we weren't in Nigeria. But hey! We are in Nigeria and the man was a cook and nursing father and he had fun doing it.
He had worked in various top governmental positions before now but he resigned to do what he loved to do: cook!!!

As strange as it is,that man is fulfilling his passion and having fun doing it. And guess what,his food was tasty!!!!! And his packaging was superb. He does the shopping himself and cooks for occasions like burial,weddings et al...

Why did I bring this out? Sometimes we tend to want to find security in the titles that we have. Let's say you are a lawyer and you are to be introduced you would like the tittle attached to your name. Say Barrister Uriel and so on and we tend to feel that's it.

But honestly when all is said and done, the question would be did you fulfil your purpose? Did you give out something that's inside you? Did you die empty?

I remember another story of a friend of mine. They had a prayer meeting in her church a long time ago and the prayer point was for God to show them their purpose or what they were to do with their lives.
During the prayer week,she had a dream where someone gave her a tailor's measuring tape and said go and sow.
She didn't like that one. As in 'all my degrees I will come and go and use it to sow'. So she neglected it and chased other things. She finished school and was looking for a coperate job,but she couldn't get any and so after Ten years (yeah you heard that, after 10 whole years) she decides to give sowing a try. And guess what? She didn't even go to fashion school, but she could just look at you sometimes without even taking your measurement and do something great with your material. I thought she was lying until I gave her materials for my son. She just looked at him and said come in two weeks and that was it. Just like magic she did something beautiful for him.

So what have you been given to do and you find it beneath you? Just know that at the end of the day,your title won't matter. What would matter is what you did with what you have been given.

Be secured in your identity enough to do what it is and die empty doing it.

Shalom!
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